The Horrible Hours

To truly understand the importance of Emotional First Aid, you need to understand what we call The Horrible Hours.

The Horrible Hours refer to the first few hours immediately following a traumatic event. These moments are often the most painful, confusing, and disorienting time in a person's life. There are five key aspects of this critical window that underscore the importance of having someone there as soon as possible:

1. A Devastating Loss
The Horrible Hours follow a profound loss—whether it's the death of a spouse after 50 years, the loss of a child, or the destruction of a home. While we all experience losses in life, these are what we call the BIG ONES—life-altering events that shatter a person’s world.

2. Completely Unexpected
No one plans for tragedy. Survivors are blindsided, caught totally unprepared emotionally, mentally, and practically. The shock is often overwhelming.

3. A Chaotic Environment
These moments rarely happen in calm, familiar settings. They often unfold in noisy emergency rooms, on the side of a freeway, or in homes crowded with emergency personnel and distressed family and friends. It can feel like everything is out of control.

4. Isolation
Most survivors are alone in those first hours. Their support systems haven’t yet arrived. That’s why your presence is powerful. Simply being there says, “You are not alone now.”

5. Impossible Decisions
In the midst of shock and grief, survivors may be asked to make heartbreaking decisions:

• “What mortuary should I use for my child?”

• “Should I donate their organs?”

• “How do I tell my child their father died by suicide?”

These are decisions no one should have to make without support—especially when they are confused, heartbroken, and in crisis.